


everything comes with a price

by idiotwerewolf



Series: FMA One Shots [20]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ed's really going through it in this one folks, Gen, Parental Roy Mustang, this started out as really silly and i'm not quite sure what happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 21:20:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30044901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idiotwerewolf/pseuds/idiotwerewolf
Summary: ~PRO/R*YED SHIPPERS DNI~Having to be in hiding with Fullmetal was bad enough, but due to a string of rather unfortunate unforeseen events, things are about to get even worse.~PRO/R*YED SHIPPERS DNI~
Relationships: Edward Elric & Roy Mustang
Series: FMA One Shots [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2024006
Kudos: 18





	everything comes with a price

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU SHIP ROY MUSTANG AND EDWARD ELRIC, YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE. DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS WORK.

"Fullmetal?" he managed to get out, his voice unsteady and cracking. He pushed the rubble from his body and stood, immediately doubling over and coughing as his lungs tried to force the dust from them.

"Yeah, yeah," Ed responded from somewhere in the room, "I'm here."

He didn't realize the drastic change in his voice until he heard Edward speak. His once juvenile voice deeper, laced with more of the bitterness and sarcasm it usually carried. Roy's voice, though... It was younger, inexperienced.  _ Naive. _

"What the hell happened?" Roy questioned, hands too small to be his own, reaching up and rubbing at his face, which felt equally small. The blast must have messed with him. That had to be it.

"What are you talking about?" Ed grumbled, turning around to face Roy. He was silent for a moment and then doubled over in laughter.

"This doesn't seem like an appropriate time to be laughing, Fullmetal!" Roy's voice squeaked out.

"AHAHAHA- HOLY SHIT!"

"What? What could  _ possibly  _ be so funny?!"

"YOU'RE SO-" Ed dissolved into another laughing fit, one that left him silently wheezing, "You're so- you're so fuckin' short, Roy!" he managed to get out.

"What? I am not short!" His voice hadn't cracked that badly since he went through puberty. They were getting nowhere. Fullmetal was barely able to breathe, and Roy was short, apparently.

"Lil' pipsqueak! I never thought I'd see the day!" Ed wiped tears from his eyes and cleared his throat. "Have you um... Have you seen yourself, Roy?"

"You know, it's a sign of disrespect to call a Colonel by his first name," Roy stated, trying to school his voice into its usual calm, stern tone and failing.

"Oh- I doubt anyone would call you Colonel anymore."

"Wh- Why the hell not?!"

"I'm pretty sure thirteen-year-olds can't be Colonels, Roy. And that's how old you look right now."

"You're joking, right?"

"Do I  _ look  _ like I'm joking?" Ed questioned as he walked towards Roy, stopping once he was in the sunlight coming through the hole in the ceiling.

"Holy shit!  _ Holy shit!  _ This is not good, Fullmetal." The previously shorter alchemist had grown at least a foot, his shoulders broad and his face lacking the roundness a child’s normally had, everything sharper, more defined. His eyes seemed duller, more pained and tired. The only thing that appeared to be unaffected was his clothing and automail. 

"Ah-ah... That's  _ mister  _ Fullmetal to you. Have some respect for your elders!"

Roy took a deep breath and ignored Ed's taunting. He put his hands behind his back and began pacing the room, his military uniform barely staying on his scrawny form.

"Can we focus, please? Something  _ obviously  _ happened, and we need to know what, how, who, and why."

"Explosion, alchemy, bad-guys, and to slow us down and or kill us," Ed responded, ticking each one off on his fingers. "Before we do anything, though, we need new clothes," he paused to gesture to the two of them and then to his slightly too small automail arm and leg, "and I need to call Winry for an emergency appointment."

"How the hell are we supposed to explain this?!" Roy shouted- well, it came out as more of a shriek- tossing his hands in the air and wildly motioning to the building.

"Explosions, alchemy, bad-guys," Ed repeated, a smirk pulling on his lips, "did you get shorter  _ and  _ stupider?"

"I'm going to kill you, Fullmetal."

"Easy there, short stuff." 

"How the hell are you so calm right now?" Roy demanded, ignoring the growing urge to punch Ed in the face.

"Dunno, adult brain and all that," Ed said with a shrug, "c'mon, we gotta go call someone."

"And who do you plan on calling, Fullmetal? We're supposed to be in hiding, remember?"

"Fine, fine, then I won't call anyone," Ed muttered as he rubbed at his chin, seemingly deep in thought. After a moment, the now taller, older blond perked up and clapped his hands together, pressing them to each item of his clothing one at a time.

"There! That's better. C'mere."

Roy heaved a heavy sigh and then shuffled over to Edward, holding his arms out at his side, sleeves swallowing his hands, and pants caught under his too-large boots. Ed repeated the process with Roy's clothing and then stood straight, stretching his back and groaning.

"I hate to say it, but thanks, Fullmetal."

"Y'know, alchemy like this only costs an arm and a leg! I'd like to think it's worth it!"

"You sound like Lieutenant Colonel Hughes."

"Colonel Hughes wishes!" 

Roy groaned and dragged a hand down his face. He tapped his foot against the floor and crossed his arms as he thought. He wasn’t interested in staying this way, and he prayed that Fullmetal wasn’t either. It was evident that the alchemy used was powerful, something that neither he nor Fullmetal had seen before. They had to be able to figure this out, right? 

He let out another, more annoyed groan and sighed, shaking his head. He had no idea what to do and could barely remember why they were even in this building in the first place. It wasn’t their safe house. 

“Fullmetal?”

“What, Roy?”

“...Why are we here?”

“Are you talking on a cosmic level or specifically in this building?” 

“I’m going to kill you, I swear to god.” 

Fullmetal shook his head and laughed, turning in a slow circle as he looked around the room. After a moment, he shrugged and looked at Roy again. 

“I don’t really remember either… I’m pretty sure we were chasing someone?” 

Roy perked up when Fullmetal said that, a hazy memory becoming more tangible. 

“We were- we chased them from the safe house into this building. Why, though?” 

Fullmetal shook his head and rubbed his chin, muttering under his breath as he looked around the room once again. Roy recognized the look in the other man’s eyes. Far away and almost glazed over. Fullmetal was on to something- hopefully something helpful. He followed Fullmetal’s eyes up to the ceiling, brows pinching together as he tried to figure out what the older man had seen that Roy hadn’t. 

“That’s it!” the blond exclaimed, whipping around to face Roy with excited eyes. 

“What’s it?” 

“The ceiling!” Fullmetal announced, limping across the room to stand under the gaping hole, neck bent back at an uncomfortable angle, eyes narrowed. “There had to be an array on the ceiling!” 

Roy cursed under his breath and raked a hand through his hair. They got led into a trap, which meant their cover was blown, which meant they were in danger, and so was everyone they cared about. 

“This isn’t good, Fullmetal.” 

“Yeah, no shit.”

“ _ Hey! _ ”

“What? I’m an adult; I can curse! Or are your little ears too sensitive for that kind of language?” 

“Can we focus, please?”

“Fine, fine,” Fullmetal grumbled, waving a dismissive hand at Roy. “The array being on the ceiling doesn’t help us much. Unless…” 

“Unless?” Roy repeated, brows quirking up as he watched Fullmetal kneel and dig through the rubble. 

“Unless I can piece together the original array.”

“You can do that?”

“Roy, I performed human transmutation and bonded my brother’s soul to a suit of armor at eleven years old. I’m pretty sure I can piece an array together and then reverse engineer it,” Fullmetal snarked. 

“Fair enough. I don’t think we should stay here, though. It’s not safe.” 

“What do you want me to do, Roy? Carry thousands of pounds of concrete out of the building?”

Roy sighed and shook his head. Adult Fullmetal was very irritable. Was that how he was…? He knew it was, but he chose to lie to himself. There was already enough going on, and he didn’t have time to add an existential crisis into the mix. 

“What do you want  _ me  _ to do?” He was not looking forward to taking orders from Fullmetal, but it was his only choice. It seemed that Fullmetal was the only one that really knew what was going on right now. 

“Can you still use your alchemy?” 

“Um…” Roy looked down at his hands, turning them palms down to inspect his gloves. They were intact, thankfully. He snapped his fingers, smirking as a jet of flames shot from his fingers and out the hole in the ceiling. “Yes, I’d say it works.” 

“Good. Go keep watch or something.” 

“You don’t want help?”

“Do you think you can lift these?” Fullmetal’s words were strained as he lifted a large piece of concrete and flipped it over, a large cloud of dust moving through the air as he set it down. “If you think you can- by all means, have at it.” 

Roy looked down at himself and then to the concrete pieces, the biggest ones about the same size as him and undoubtedly heavier. However, he still wanted to help Fullmetal. Shaking his head and removing his gloves, he walked over to Fullmetal and began picking through the pile of debris, still unsure of what he was supposed to be looking for. 

“Heh- is this was you were like when you were younger?” Fullmetal said under his breath, words mostly affectionate. 

“If you mean helpful, then yes.” 

“Mhm… Sure, that’s what I meant.” 

“What am I looking for, Fullmetal?”

“Anything that looks like an array. I need every piece, so we have  _ a lot  _ to look through.” He motioned around the room with his automail hand and then continued digging through the pile before them. 

Before long, the center of the room was taken up by an alchemy array- or something close to it. The broken chunks of concrete and chipped paint made it even more challenging to decipher what was in front of them. 

“...I’ve never seen anything like this,” Roy whispered, a mixture of shock, terror, and something close to admiration washing over him. 

“I doubt anyone has,” Fullmetal said, tone almost matching Roy’s, “this isn’t good, Roy. We have no idea what we’re messing with- no idea what the repercussions will be…” 

“So what? We’re stuck like this?” He tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach, but it was quickly getting the better of him. 

“I never said that. What do you think I am? A novice?”

That didn’t make Roy feel any better. He knew Fullmetal well enough to know that he’d be the one doing the transmutation, potentially risking his life. And he also knew that there was next to nothing he could do to talk the other alchemist out of it. 

“I don’t like this.”

“Me either, Roy, but this is our only option unless you wanna stay like this.” 

“I’m starting to think that might be better,” Roy admitted. He wasn’t sure he could handle something happening to Fullmetal. As much as the blond annoyed him, he cared about him, just as he did the rest of his team. He knew when push came to shove, Fullmetal would have his back just as Roy would have his. 

“Is that so?” Fullmetal chuckled as he looked at Roy, a smirk tugging at his lips. “I guess you’ll never be able to marry Hawkeye… What a shame.” 

“I wasn’t planning on marrying her anyway,” Roy grumbled. His remaining calmness was slipping through his fingers like sand, and it was only a matter of time before he lost his shit. 

“Why the hell not?” Fullmetal demanded as he turned to look at Roy. 

“I don’t deserve her. That’s why.” 

“You’re a moron, Roy,” Fullmetal scoffed and shook his head, “whatever- you’ll figure it out eventually.” 

“Figure what out, exactly?”

“That you’re making a huge mistake, now shut up so I can think.” 

Roy stammered himself into silence and pinched the bridge of his nose. He wasn’t making a mistake. At least he  _ thought  _ he wasn’t making a mistake… Was he? No. No… he wasn’t. He’s a war criminal- they  _ both  _ are, and that was his fault. He’d damned both of them a long time ago, and he didn’t deserve that kind of happiness even if it was the only thing he really wanted. 

He shook his head and opened his mouth, ready to tell Fullmetal that he had no idea what he was talking about, but before he could say anything, he was cut off. 

“Now I  _ really  _ don’t like this…” 

“What? Why?”

“Cause we’re gonna be here for a while. Can’t crack it just yet.” Fullmetal scratched the back of his head and sighed, pulling his automail fingers from his tangled hair and wincing. 

Roy and Fullmetal stood in front of the deconstructed circle well into the night, both of them too stubborn to call it quits and get some rest. The only light coming from the moon and the small fire Roy had started on the other side of the room. His eyelids felt so heavy, it was almost impossible to keep them open, and the warmth from the fire made it all the more difficult. His eyes would snap open every time Fullmetal shifted his weight, a pained grunt leaving him every time. His automail had to be killing him, but he refused to sit down. Roy had given up on trying to get the (unfortunately) taller man to sit down. 

It wasn’t until near morning that Fullmetal spoke, succeeding in scaring the crap out of Roy. It had been quiet for so long, and his sleep-deprived body wasn’t expecting it. 

“ _ God damn it! _ ” Fullmetal shouted, hands curling into his hair. 

“You can’t figure it out?” 

“No- I did… It’s just…” 

“Just what, Fullmetal? Spit it out.” 

“Something went wrong… That,” he paused and pointed at the array, “that was supposed to kill us… Destroy us on a molecular level, but something went  _ really  _ wrong...” 

Roy was silent for a long while as he processed what Fullmetal had said. He couldn’t quite wrap his mind around something like that. 

“...Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Which means this array is completely useless,” Fullmetal continued, “all that work for _ nothing! _ This is just like the philosopher’s stone all over again!” 

“Calm down, Fullmetal, we’ll figure something out.” 

“ _ Calm down?! _ Someone’s tried to kill us  _ twice,  _ and you’re telling me to calm down?!” he shouted, hands curling into fists. “I think I deserve to freak out a little bit! We got blown up, and now I’m thirty years old, look just like my father and have  _ no way  _ to fix it, let alone explain it if I ever get to see Alphonse or Winry again!” 

“Edward!” Roy said sternly, only continuing when the blond stopped pacing, fearful, gold eyes meeting Roy’s surprisingly calm black ones. It was the first time in the last almost 24 hours that Fullmetal looked how he was supposed to. Like a child. An understandably scared child. “Please. Relax. Freaking out isn’t going to fix this, alright? You need to calm down, and  _ we  _ need to think this through. We will find a solution.” 

Roy had his doubts but knew better than to voice them, for both his and Fullmetal’s sake. Staying like this wasn’t a favorable option, and he knew that for his companion, it wasn’t an option at all. 

“The array isn’t completely useless,” Roy said once Fullmetal appeared to have calmed down, “we know what it was supposed to do and what it actually did… All we need to do is figure out how to make it go wrong like it did.” 

“You… that’s actually… that might work, Roy.” 

_ Thank god.  _

Roy followed Fullmetal across the room and knelt at his side, watching curiously as the other man drew the array on the floor with a piece of chalk. 

“Go get me a piece of rock,” Fullmetal instructed as he tucked the chalk behind his ear. Roy nodded and scrambled to his feet, picking up the largest rock he could carry and bring it over to Fullmetal. When the other alchemist nodded, he set the rock in the center of the circle.

“Step back… I don’t know what’s going to happen.” 

Roy stepped back as instructed, pushing aside whatever concerns he had for Fullmetal’s safety, and watched as one metal and one flesh palm pressed to the circle. The stone vibrated rather violently, an eerie red glow emerging from the circle; with a bright flash and a deafening bang, the room was filled with dust. 

His shoulders shook as he coughed and waved at the air to clear the dust from his vision. 

“Did it work?” he wheezed. 

“No… But now we know what would have happened to us,” Fullmetal said grimly. Roy walked back over to him, holding out a hand for support. Fullmetal scoffed but accepted, groaning as he stood and pointedly ignoring the way his knees buckled. 

They took a few steps to the right and started on another array, only making a few small changes to the array before repeating the process. The rock still exploded, but noticeably less. They were getting a little closer, and even if Fullmetal didn’t want to show it, Roy knew he was enjoying blowing stuff up. It was quite enjoyable if neither of them thought about how that was supposed to be them. 

About an hour later, more than half the floor was covered in arrays and rocks in varying degrees of ruin. They both held their breath as Fullmetal activated the array, a confused ‘huh’ leaving both of them when it did nothing. 

“Well, we’re either getting closer, or we messed up even worse,” Fullmetal mumbled as he stood up. He rubbed his shoulder and then started crossing the room, moving slowly to avoid the arrays that were capable of blowing him up. 

“Where are you going?”

“I think we need something alive…” Fullmetal mumbled, voice tired and wavering. Roy nodded and followed the man outside, squinting when the sun hit his face. 

“What kind of an alive thing? Like an animal?” Roy frowned at the thought and then scowled at his frowning. He disliked how readable his emotions had been as of late, even if it made sense. It wasn’t until later in his life that he became so hard to read. 

“I think a plant will work… but we might have to sacrifice an animal or two…” 

Judging by the look on his face, Fullmetal didn’t like that idea either, but it was more than evident at this point how desperate they both were. He watched as Fullmetal reached up to snag some flowers from a tree, only to take in a sharp breath and slowly lower his arm. 

“Roy, go get those flowers, alright?”

Roy frowned again, his concern for Fullmetal growing even more as he watched the way he rubbed at his automail port. Refocusing his attention, Roy reached up, fingertips barely brushing the flowers he was instructed to grab.  _ Right. He’s short again…  _ He perked up as he got an idea and raced around the tree, grabbing hold of some of the lower branches to pull himself up. 

He heard Fullmetal chuckle but paid no mind to it, focusing all of his attention on not falling out of the tree. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d done this. He reached out, breath catching in his throat as he caught sight of the view, rolling hills and trees as far as he could see. His heart sped up when he saw the faint outline of Central City nestled in the treeline. Soon… They’d be able to go back soon. 

“Hey- Mustang!” Fullmetal called, “Sometime today would be nice!” 

Roy cleared his throat and snagged a handful of the flowers, dropping down from the branches less elegantly than he would have liked. He dusted off his clothes and looked up at Fullmetal, nodding once before following the taller man into the building again. 

He watched slightly impatiently as Fullmetal cleared the rock from the array they had been working on and set some of the flowers down on it. However, a grin broke out on his face when the red light died down and revealed “younger” flowers. 

“Alright! Good work, Fullmetal!” he exclaimed, pumping his fists in the air. 

“Not quite,” Fullmetal said almost instantly, “that’ll get me back to normal-  _ maybe- _ but not you… I still have to figure that out. Ideally, I’d like to transmute both of us at once…” 

Roy’s shoulders deflated, and the grin fell from his face. That’s right… Fullmetal would have to do human transmutation again… Wait. Would he have to give something up for that? No. Roy wouldn’t let him. He already lost enough, and what little he had left was ripped away thanks to Roy. 

“Hey… Run outside and get me roots.”    
  
“Roots?” Roy repeated, “Like from a plant?”

Fullmetal nodded and motioned towards the door. Roy nodded and rushed outside once again, kneeling in the grass and shoving his fingers into the dirt, tossing handfuls of it to the side until his fingers wrapped around a root. He wasn’t sure what it was from, but he yanked it from the ground regardless and rushed inside again. 

“Here,” he said as he rushed up to Fullmetal, crouching rather eagerly at his side. He held out the root and rubbed some of the dirt from his hands. Roy held his breath as Fullmetal activated the circle again, eyes widening as the root started growing before his eyes. Through the red glow, he could see the flower start forming and blooming. When the light faded, however, it revealed a wilted, dry flower. 

“...Not quite…” Fullmetal grumbled. His brows pinched together as a sigh left him. He pulled the chalk from behind his ear, now reduced to a barely-there chunk.

Luckily, their second, third, and fourth attempts gave more favorable results, and after their fifth try ended with a near-perfect flower, Roy and Fullmetal moved to the next room to draw out a much larger array. He could barely contain his anxiety at this point, and the fact that Fullmetal seemed perfectly calm wasn’t helping. How could he stay calm when the man who was technically  _ his  _ subordinate seemed to not care that he was about to endanger his life once again. 

“Okay… Two things before we do this,” Fullmetal said quietly. He stood and clapped his hands together, once again pressing them to his clothes and then to Roy’s. 

“What’s the second thing, Fullmetal?”

“If…” Fullmetal hesitated and took a deep breath, “If I lose anything… I need you to cauterize the wound.” 

“No. Absolutely not!” 

“I need you to promise me, Roy. I’m not joking.” 

“You can’t ask me to do that-”   
  
“If you don’t, I’ll bleed out and die.  _ Please. _ ”

Roy was taken aback by the desperation in Fullmetal’s voice, the fear in his eyes saying more than enough for Roy to know what was going through his head. Reluctantly, he nodded and set his shoulders. 

“You better know what you’re doing, Edward.” 

“God, I sure hope so.” 

Taking a deep breath, Roy stepped into the circle, hands clenched at his sides and eyes locked on Fullmetal. 

“Hey, Roy?” 

“Mhm?”

“If something happens to me… Tell Al and Winry I love them, alright?”

Before Roy could respond, Fullmetal stepped into the circle and pressed his palms to it. The man barely had time to stand before black hands shot out from the ground. It was as if they didn’t faze him. They scared the crap out of Roy, however. He’d never seen anything like it, and the thought that Fullmetal was younger than he currently was when he did this the first time sent shivers down Roy’s spine and made him nauseous. 

He tried to stay as stoic as his companion as his body was deconstructed but wasn’t very successful. A panicked sound caught in his throat, and in a flash of blinding light, there was nothing. He couldn’t see, hear, or feel a thing. 

When the light faded, he looked down at himself, almost shocked to see that he was back to normal. 

“Hey, Fullmeta-  _ EDWARD! _ ” 

Roy dropped to his knees, hands frozen above Fullmetal’s missing arm. The smell of copper was so thick he was choking on it. He tried to push aside the horror flooding through his system but quickly realized that was the only thing keeping his thoughts coherent. 

“Stay with me, damn it!” he shouted as he lifted his now smaller subordinate into his lap, not caring about how his clothes were already soaked with blood. “Edward- come on!” 

“D-Do it,” Fullmetal hissed through clenched teeth. “You p-pr-promised.” 

Roy shuddered and cleared his throat. He really didn’t want to do this, even if he promised, but he couldn’t let Fullmetal bleed out. He lost Hughes already, and he wasn’t going to lose Fullmetal too. He took a deep breath and nodded, knowing that he didn’t have time to hesitate or half-ass it like he did when Riza asked him to scar her back. He set Fullmetal on the ground and pressed his eyes shut. 

“I’m sorry, Ed…” 

“Quit apologizing and do it!” Fullmetal demanded, voice as loud as it could be- which wasn’t much. Roy nodded again and opened his eyes, biting the inside of his lip as he snapped his finger, blood filling his mouth as the smell of burning flesh hit his nose, and Fullmetal’s pained scream hit his ears. 

He was biting down so hard that he thought he could hear his teeth cracking under the pressure. The searing pain in his jaw and lip was nothing compared to what Fullmetal had to be feeling. He let the flames die out and hovering above the seared flesh, still and silent. He let out a shuddering breath, thankful that they’d be so focused on getting back to normal that neither of them had eaten. He couldn’t throw up on an empty stomach.

He lifted his head when Fullmetal let out a sharp breath and shifted on the ground, gold eyes locked on the ceiling and slowly leaking tears. 

“...Winry’s gonna kill me,” he muttered as he brushed away the tears with his remaining hand. “So is Alphonse.” 

“If they’re going to kill anyone, it’ll be me,” Roy responded, holding out his hand so he could pull Fullmetal up. He had no intention of going anywhere just yet, but he wasn’t going to leave his youngest subordinate laying in a pool of his blood. “They’ll just have to get to me before Hawkeye.” 

A bitter laugh left him as he sat Fullmetal up, trying to push aside the nagging, almost angry feeling in his gut. What kind of coward would let a  _ child  _ perform human transmutation to fix a mistake they didn’t make? Roy was that coward, apparently. 

“You should have let me do the transmutation, Ed.” The words left him before he had a chance to really think about what he was saying. 

“Why? So you could be the hero, or so you could get court-martialed?” Fullmetal shot back. Roy couldn’t tell if he was seriously upset or just pretending to be. He was too damn tired. 

“No, Ed. So  _ you  _ could avoid going through that again- so you could avoid the pain. You’ve lost enough.”

“I’ve lost enough, have I?” Fullmetal grumbled, pulling himself to his feet. He swayed momentarily and then took a few steps forward, turning to look at Roy with sharp, almost angry eyes. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Everything was telling Roy to drop it and change topics, but he couldn’t let it go for some reason. 

“Your father, your mother, your brother, your arms and leg… Your home, your childhood-”

“Shut up!” 

“You’ve lost too much, Edward,” Roy said, being sure to keep his tone steady as he took a step closer to the boy, “and I should have stopped you from losing even more… I should have stopped you a long time ago.” 

“S-Stop talking! Just s-sh-ut up!”

“I’m sorry, Edward. I failed you… I really did,” It was too late for this apology. It was already too late the moment he walked into that automail shop. Now he was another name on the long list of people who had failed the older Elric, Alphonse, too, by default. “I can’t undo what I’ve done, but I  _ can  _ stop it from happening ever again.”

“Shut up, you- you-  _ you bastard! _ ” Fullmetal’s voice cracked as tears pooled in his eyes. “You’re wrong!”

Roy took another step closer, leaving his arms limp at his sides even though he could easily reach out and grab Fullmetal. For as far as he’d pushed the younger alchemist, reaching out to hug him seemed a step too far considering the state he was in now and their (up until now) antagonistic attitude towards each other. 

“It’s okay, Ed… You can be upset and angry and hurt… It’s okay to feel that. You’re  _ allowed  _ to feel that.” Roy was currently the biggest hypocrite on the planet. No… He wasn’t a hypocrite. He was  _ concerned _ . He didn’t want Fullmetal to end up like him. The path Roy was on wasn’t a good one, and if he was honest with himself, he had expected Hawkeye to shoot him in the back a long time ago. 

He was cold and jaded beyond his years, forcing his feelings and heart down to let his thoughts and head lead. It was no way to live life, but Roy was in too deep to change. Fullmetal, on the other hand… it wasn’t too late for him. 

Fullmetal fell to his knees, the sound of metal hitting cement ringing through the building and echoing off the walls, a sob shaking his shoulders and cutting off whatever he was about to say. Roy knelt in front of him, placing a steady hand on the boy’s shoulders, tensing up slightly when the blond slumped forward, head burying in Roy’s blood-stained coat. 

Roy’s arms hovered over Fullmetal’s shoulders before gently lowering as he did his best to comfort the child. He’d never been very good at things like this, Hawkeye had told him that several times before- Hughes too. 

“You’re such a bastard,” Fullmetal choked out, single automail hand curling into the back of Roy’s coat. 

“I know.” 

“Why… why couldn’t-” Another sob cut Fullmetal off, reducing him to a crying, sniffling, shaking mess, desperately clinging to the wrong person for comfort. “Wh- why couldn’t he have be-been m-more like you?”

Roy almost missed the words that Fullmetal said, barely above a whisper and broken up as he gasped for breath. He knew he should be asking who Fullmetal was talking about, but judging by the sinking feeling in his stomach, he had a pretty good idea of who the younger alchemist was referring to.

“You… you care ab-bout us and- and- and he just… just left like we didn’t matter- like our  _ mother  _ didn’t matter! And- and you d-don’t-” Fullmetal shook his head and leaned into Roy even more, a shaky breath leaving him. “You… you don’t leave an-anyone behind.” 

Roy took in a slow breath, his eyes pricking with tears he was determined not to shed as he hugged Fullmetal tighter, unsure of what he could say to soothe the boy. Fullmetal wanted his father to be like Roy… He wasn’t sure how to feel about that. He wasn’t a good man despite how hard he was trying to be a better one. That would never absolve his sins. Yes, he had good qualities, but they were bred and born in a warzone out of desperation and fear. Could those truly be called good qualities? 

“Everything comes with a price,  Fullmetal ,” Roy said quietly, “I wouldn’t want anyone to pay the price I’ve had to pay... Not even your father.” 

He didn’t know much about  Fullmetal’s father, but the more he learned, the more and more he found himself disliking the man. Even so, Roy wouldn’t wish for anyone to be like him when he knew the things he had to experience to get like this. 

Fullmetal nodded, sniffling one last time before he sat up, rubbing at his red and puffy eyes with the back of his hand before clearing his throat. 

“...If you ever tell anyone about this, I’ll kill you, Mustang.” 

“Understood.” Roy stood and brushed the dirt from his pants and then held his hand out to  Fullmetal , easily pulling him to his feet. Together, they walked out of the building in silence, both of them mentally, emotionally, and  physically exhausted. 

“Hey... Mustang...?” 

Roy stopped walking and looked back at  Fullmetal , eyes narrowed as he tried to make out  Fullmetal’s figure against the setting sun. 

“What is it, Fullmetal?”

“...Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please check out the link below if you're interested in finding out how to support me!
> 
> https://idiotwerewolf.tumblr.com/post/644405793836367872/hi-all-im-broke-as-hell-and-unable-to-work-due


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